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Dan Zeehandelaar, a Lead Product Manager on our Payments Experience team based in Amsterdam, and his husband, Kevin, recently welcomed their daughter, Marisa, via surrogacy.
3️⃣ As two men, Dan and his husband considered three paths to parenthood: adoption, surrogacy, and co-parenting.
“Adoption has become less common in the Netherlands, and as non-citizens (we’re from the US) we felt it would be a very long shot to match with a child. Co-parenting (e.g. when two men connect with a single woman or lesbian couple to create a blended family) is wonderful for those people who are able to find the right match. We felt that co-parenting would be difficult as there is a chance we’d move back to the US at some point, which could put the child in the uncomfortable position of having parents on different continents. With surrogacy, we would be the child’s sole parents and have a biological connection between father and child.”
👩⚕️ Dan and Kevin started the process by researching the Men Having Babies organization, which organizes conferences and information sessions for prospective dads.
“They helped us to find our fertility doctor and our surrogacy agency. The fertility doctor helped us find an egg donor and led us through the IVF process of creating and transferring embryos. The surrogacy agency matched us with the woman who ultimately carried our daughter, and supported her and us through the medical, legal and emotional process. We did this in phases, first creating embryos with our doctor that we froze, and then later matched with a surrogate.”
👶 Dan and Kevin have a great relationship with their surrogate, her husband, and their two kids.
“We text all the time to share photos and stay in touch. They live about 2 hours’ drive from Kevin’s family so we’re able to see them every year at the holidays. We have a special bond and they love seeing Marisa as she grows.”
🌟 Uber’s family planning benefit provides a one-time benefit of €10,000 which can be used on a wide range of services, contributing to adoption, surrogacy, or fertility treatment.
“We used this benefit early on in our journey to cover some of the cost of IVF. It is important to note that the actual costs of surrogacy far exceed this.”
Posted by Uber
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